I think we can all agree that life has enough challenges already, without us self-sabotaging ourselves. It is hard to see our bad habits at the time, many of us only realising them when we look back after years. Hopefully this list will help you recognise the toxic habits that are holding you back, so that you can then address them and reach your full potential.
Don’t worry, these bad habits are things that we have all done at some point in our lives, so there is no need to be worried or embarrassed about them.
Sometimes all it takes is a bit of self awareness to be able to turn thing around and break our toxic habits.
Other times breaking bad habits can be a much more testing process. If this is the case for you, you are not alone.
I have found that the key to breaking toxic habits is to create new, healthier ones. So as we go through this list I will suggest other habits you may want to introduce into your daily life to help you overcome each bad habit.
None of these will be a “quick fix”; your life is not going to change overnight. Depending on the habit it can take anywhere between 18 and 254 days to break an old habit or form a new one.
So keep this in mind when you are trying to break your toxic habits, try to stay consistent and don’t be too hard on yourself.
Procrastinating
We are starting with the most common bad habit you could have, procrastination.
We have all been there. You know you have to do something, you know you can do it, you have planned to do it, yet you just don’t. Whether you can’t seem to start, or you can start but then get distracted, procrastination is one of the trickiest bad habits to overcome.
As a business owner, I have struggled immensely with procrastination and feeling unproductive at times. But we can all procrastinate for different reasons. The key to breaking this habit is by finding out why you are procrastinating.
Are you over-tired? Simply distracted by the TV, or perhaps you are burnt out and have lost all motivation and passion for what you are doing.
Once you have figured out what is making you procrastinate you can then start addressing it.
For me, I really struggle to start. Once I have started, I realise I can do it and I am actually happy to be doing it. So I end up wondering why I ever procrastinated in the first place!
To overcome this I simply say to myself: “just open your laptop, you don’t have to do anything else, just open it.” Once I have, 9 times out of 10 I feel like I am ready and happy to work. It was simply getting over the first hurdle.
To help you find why you procrastinate and hopefully help you overcome it, I would highly recommend reading my 10 Reasons why you are having an Unproductive Day.
Perfectionism
Years ago I heard someone say “Perfectionism is the most paralyzing form of self-abuse”.
As a life-long perfectionist at the time, this hit me very hard. Afterall, I always thought being a perfectionist was a good thing!
It was only when I grew up more and was faced with more challenges in life that I fully understood.
Perfectionism manages to both paralyse you and break you at the same time. Either you can’t finish something because it “isn’t quite perfect” yet, or you finish it but forever put yourself down saying that it wasn’t good enough.
Nothing good comes from holding yourself to such high standards at all times. You will only become more stressed and over-worked and even then you will never be satisfied.
“Focus on progress not perfection.” -Bill Phillips
Once you understand that you are human, and we all make mistakes, you can start letting go of your need to be perfect, and hopefully build a happier and healthier outlook on your career and your life.
Self Doubt
Perfectionism ties in very nicely with Self Doubt. Self doubt is one of our inner demons that no-one talks about but everyone has.
Talking negatively about yourself even in jest can have a big impact on your confidence and self-esteem. Self doubt and deprecation only serves as a way to tear yourself down. The truth is, you are never going to reach your full potential if you don’t believe in yourself.
The act of doubting whether you can achieve something may be the very reason why you don’t achieve it!
Try to drown out those negative thoughts in your head with more positive, kinder thoughts and although it will feel strange at first, this will soon become second nature. Doubting yourself will only ever hold you back. Whereas, believing in yourself will push you forward!
Waiting for “the right time”
Too many of us have dreams that we intend to start but right now is not “the right time”.
How many times have you said “One day I will start my own business”, “one day I will find a job I am passionate about”, “one day I will take a few months to travel”. “One day I will be happy”.
Thinking that now is not “the right time” for any of your dreams is one of the biggest toxic habits that are holding you back.
It will never be the right time.
“One day” doesn’t just suddenly appear.
If you want something, you need to stop making excuses and instead, take action.
Stop holding yourself back, thinking that the universe will somehow give you all of your dreams when the “right day” comes around.
Dwelling on Regrets
If you want to reach your full potential in life, you simply can’t afford to waste your time or energy on regrets. I think this quote says it best.
“Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.” -Katherine Mansfield
If you are really struggling with a regret, see if there is a way you can make peace with it. If you regret losing touch with a friend, reach out to them. Or maybe you regret not getting a qualification, in which case you could go back to school.
Do anything you can to try to put that regret to bed, so that you are able to move forward with your life, without the weight of regrets holding you back.
Neglecting your own Happiness
So many of us live our lives for other people. We work to please people. Use our spare time to help people. And stay up at night worrying about people. Whilst all of these things aren’t necessarily bad, they leave very little time and energy for you.
When was the last time you did something purely for yourself, to make you happy?
Probably longer than you thought right?
If you are not taking time to make yourself happy, how are you expected to help or make anyone else happy?
Self-care is a very important part of life that must not be skipped. If you don’t take time to find what makes you happy, then you are sure to burn out and lose all motivation sooner or later.
Bring your happiness to the top of your priorities and stop leaving it on the back burner. I guarantee that it will have a huge impact on your life, your potential and the people you want to help.
Depriving yourself of Sleep
Regularly sleeping for less that 7 hours per night can have a detrimental impact on your health and mindset. In fact, studies have shown that not sleeping enough can increase your risk of developing heart disease and type 2 diabetes.
As well as that, poor sleep has been strongly linked to depression as well as a loss in ability to regulate emotions and interact socially.
If you are constantly sacrificing a good amount of sleep because you think work or something else is more important, then you are definitely holding yourself back.
By getting between 7-9 hours every night, you will be able to function in every aspect of life more efficiently. You will become overwhelmed much less frequently, and you will find that you are much happier on a day to day basis.
I found my sleep and life dramatically improved when I figured out How to become a morning person.
Being Attached to your Phone
It may be the age of social media, but that certainly does not mean that it is necessarily good for you. In fact recent studies have linked using social media to multiple mental health problems such as depression, anxiety and loneliness.
Whilst social media may have not caused these significant mental health problems for you, chances are they have had a negative impact on your mindset and view of yourself.
No matter how self assured a person may be, I don’t think it is healthy to be able to compare yourself to literally everyone through a screen. And not just everyone, but everyone at their best. Social media is a smoke screen where we all show the best sides of ourselves. We show our achievements, our holidays and our bikini bodies. But most of us neglect to show our bad days, our greasy hair and our struggles.
It is too easy to fall into the bad habit of comparing lives with people and feeling inadequate.
Try to reduce your social media when you can. Perhaps go screen free after 7pm every night. Or have a social media free weekend every few weeks. However you do it, just try to get your head out of a screen and appreciate the real world around you.
Listening to what others think about you and your life
Finally, this leads us very nicely to our last and possibly most toxic habit. Listening to other people’s judgements of you is only going to damage your self-esteem.
They probably do not know you, or the situation, yet they feel the need to critique. And we listen!
The only person who truly knows you and what is best for you is you.
Once you learn how to block other opinions from your mind, you will find that you are much happier and much more satisfied with your life and where you are at. Don’t let other people disturb your peace and dictate your dreams.
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