How to Identify and Stop Emotional Spending

With everything that is going on in the world at the moment, it is no surprise that emotional spending has become a prevalent issue that affects many of us. The allure of instant gratification and an emotional boost often leads us to impulsive purchases that wreak havoc on our finances.

Addressing emotional spending habits is not about managing money; it’s about fostering a healthy relationship with our emotions and understanding the deeper triggers behind our impulsive purchases. For that reason, this post will not be finance-based. We will instead look at how to identify and stop emotional spending.

Overcoming emotional spending can be very difficult, especially if you are going through a difficult time. But by identifying your triggers and being aware of the dangers of emotional spending, you can start your journey to more conscious spending habits and better finances.

What is Emotional Spending?

Emotional spending defined as when you spend money in response to a time of heightened emotions, such as in times of stress or grief, and even when you’re feeling happy and want to celebrate.

It is much more than just a transaction. It is often thought of as a coping mechanism for various emotions or low self-esteem. Emotions are incredibly powerful, so it is no surprise that emotion-led spending can have a serious impact on your financial well-being.

If you are feeling down or stressed, you may find yourself seeking temporary relief or fulfilment through the purchase of unnecessary material possessions.

Recognizing Emotional Spending Patterns

The biggest step in controlling emotional spending is being able to identify when and why you are emotional spending.

It is very easy to miss the subtle signs that you are emotional spending, especially when you are going through a stressful and hectic time.

At first, you may be able to recognise the signs in others around you but not yourself. I definitely found this to be the case when I was grieving. I could see my friends were emotionally spending, but I didn’t realise that I was, even when parcels would arrive at the house every other day!

One of the most noticeable signs of emotional spending is if your shopping is the highlight of the day. Or if you are feeling the need to shop when you feel low. Online shopping in particular is known to give us a little serotonin boost (happy hormone) when we make a purchase. But if you are constantly looking for this boost to improve your day or make you feel happy temporarily, then chances are you are being lead by your emotions rather than your common sense or logic.

Also, you may be emotional spending if you impulsively make purchases near the checkout of a shop, or very quickly online. You skip the step where you consider the necessity of the purchase and the impact it could have on your finances. You may find that making the purchase makes you feel happy, but later you feel guilty for spending the money when you realise it was not something that you needed or really wanted.

Or you may be very happy with all of your purchases. But be careful, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you are not emotionally spending. Many people use material possessions to make themselves feel better. And whilst this isn’t always a bad thing, doing it frequently may indicate an emotional spending problem.

Buying things so you feel “good enough” for other people, or simply because you think an object will finally make you happy is not a healthy way to navigate life. No object is ever going to fill that emotional void. So now you can identify your emotional spending habits, we are going to explore some of the many causes and triggers that could lead you to emotional and impulsive spending.

Causes and Triggers of Emotional Spending

I have split the causes of emotional spending into two main categories. This is because I believe half of emotional spending comes from directly within us. Our own emotional thoughts and feelings. Then the other half stems from the impact that the outside world can have on our emotions and spending decisions. Now let’s dive into each of these categories to see if you can identify with either or both of these.

Emotional Triggers

Nearly every emotion could trigger emotional spending. It really is a minefield! But there are some emotions that are much more likely to trigger emotional spending and make you blind to making rational and logical spending decisions. Let’s take a look at some of the biggest emotional culprits.

Sadness: You may feel like buying something will be the perfect way to cheer yourself up.

Stress: When you are stressed, you often feel like everything is out of control. But buying something would give you that feeling of control again.

Boredom: What better way is there to pass the time than scrolling through some online shops? This can be dangerous because you can find yourself making very passive purchases, without fully engaging with and thinking about them.

Loneliness: If you are lonely, you may want to fill your time and keep yourself busy. Getting the extra serotonin boost from a purchase will also help lift your spirits temporarily.

Anger: If you are riled up by work problems or family life then you can often make snap decisions without thinking them through. This can lead to impulse purchases that you may regret once you are calmer.

Social Triggers

The influence of social media, advertising, and societal pressures should not be underestimated.

The constant bombardment of the “perfect” lifestyle on social media can fuel desires and feelings of jealousy that push you to spend beyond your means in a bid to match unrealistic standards.

When shopping with others, you may feel insecure that you don’t have the latest clothes or gadgets like them. This could lead you to buys items that you wouldn’t usually be interested in, just so you can “keep up” or “save face”.

Spending through jealousy or insecurity is also not a healthy coping mechanism. You need to make sure that when you are spending money, you are doing so without influence of other people either around you or online.

Techniques to Stop Emotional Spending

Now we have discussed how to identify emotional spending and some of the triggers that are causing it, it is time to explore some of the techniques you can use to try to stop emotional spending and regain control of your finances.

No single one of these tips will stop you emotionally spending for good. But when used in conjunction, you can use these techniques to give yourself a really good chance of controlling your spending.

Self-Reflection and Awareness

Being aware of your emotions is incredibly important to all aspects of life but it is absolutely crucial when making a purchase. Before you press buy, stop and ask yourself what you are feeling and try to determine if your emotions could be clouding your judgement.

If you find this difficult, you could keep an emotional spending journal where you track your emotional states alongside your spending. With this information you should be able to find your emotional spending patterns and become more conscious and aware when decision-making.

Setting Budgets and Financial Goals

Creating a budget and setting realistic financial goals will provide you with a roadmap that you can follow. It instils discipline and provides a clear overview of your finances, which in turn should help you override your emotional impulses and resist some unnecessary purchases.

Make it Harder to Spend Online

Taking practical steps can be a great way of preventing emotional spending, especially when you are just starting this journey. You can unsubscribe from tempting marketing emails and unfollow some social media pages that always make you feel jealous.

A massive step you can take is disabling autofill features that keep your bank card on record. This will slow down the shopping process, giving time to reconsider before making a purchase.

Create a Sinking Fund for “Fun Purchases”

Allocating a specific budget for fun purchases creates a controlled environment for indulgence, preventing overspending while allowing for occasional treats. Stopping emotional spending doesn’t mean you shouldn’t buy the things that you want. By allocating a specific fund for fun, you can still indulge without worrying about your spending getting out of control.

Developing Healthy Coping Mechanisms

As we have mentioned, emotional spending is a coping mechanism. So if you can find a healthier coping mechanism then this should help you to stop this, more damaging one. Exercise, hobbies, meditation, walking or talking to friends will all provide you with healthier outlets for managing your emotions, reducing your reliance on material possessions and impulse buying.

Practicing Mindfulness

Introducing mindfulness techniques to your day will help you to stay present. This will make it much easier for you to recognise your impulsive habits and encourage you to resist them. Mindfulness also aids in self-control and a deeper understanding of your emotions.

Wait 30 Days to Buy Something

If you have been here before, you have probably heard how passionate I am about the 30 day spending method. When you want to buy something (that is not a “need”) then you must wait 30 days before you can buy it.

This takes all impulsiveness out of the spending process.

Chances are after 30 days you will realise you don’t want it anymore. And if you do want it, then you can buy it, safe in the knowledge that it is not an emotional purchase.

Seeking Support

No matter how hard we try, we all need support from time to time. There is no shame in it whatsoever, and sometimes asking for help is the best thing you can do. So if you feel like your emotions are controlling your life and your decisions too much, then please consider talking to family members, friends, or a counsellor.

Seeking professional help can seem very scary, and you might not even feel like you need it. But these professional avenues such as therapy and counselling can provide you with a safe space to explore underlying emotional issues that could be related to your spending habits.

Conclusion

Overcoming emotional spending is a journey that requires a lot of self-awareness, self-reflection and discipline. By recognising your emotional triggers you can start to coach yourself to more conscious spending and hopefully develop some healthier coping mechanisms.

It may be a difficult journey, but with the right mindset and support, anyone can regain control over their finances and become more in-tune with their emotional well-being.

It’s time to take the first step towards a healthier relationship with your emotions and your finances!