How to Protect your Peace

Learning How to Protect your Peace is an essential skill that everyone needs to learn this year. Once you know how to protect your emotional and mental well-being from outside factors, your life will change dramatically. It’s like creating your own perfect world that no one can touch or ruin.

Since I started consciously protecting my peace of mind I have seen a significant difference in my mood, motivation and whole outlook on life! In fact it has helped me so much that others have started to notice a positive change in me too!

In the age of self care, it is essential that we have the tools to protect ourselves from the outside world, and the self awareness to create a life around us and within us that we love. This will not just be a list of how to stay away from outside negativity, but how to make sure that you squash any internal negativity you may be harbouring within yourself too.

This is about creating a safe space for yourself so that you can create a happy life that motivates and inspires your mind and soul.

Don’t compare yourself to others

The quickest way to ruin your peace and not feel fulfilled in your life is to compare yourself to others.
So many of us live in a constant chase to try to be as good as the next person, or to try to catch up because we feel “behind in life”. If you do this though, you will never be happy in your own life.

You will never stop and “smell the roses”.
Take a moment now and look at how far you have come. Because at one point in time, you’ve dreamt of being where you are now.

Life throws many trials, so I know this won’t be exactly where you thought you would be, but just think, there was a time you dreamt of finally finishing school. There was a time you dreamt of being independent, of having money in your savings, of landing your job.
No matter where you are in life, there was a time when you wished for something you have now.

So instead of getting wrapped up in comparing yourself to someone else’s life, try to be grateful and proud of the life you have built.
After all, you never truly know what is going on in someone else’s life. They could be comparing themselves to you and wishing they had what you had!

Stay away from this “grass is greener” trap and focus on your life, your happiness and your achievements.

Reduce your Social Media

It may be the age of social media, but that certainly does not mean that it is necessarily good for you. In fact recent studies have linked using social media to multiple mental health problems such as depression, anxiety and loneliness.

Whilst social media may have not caused these significant mental health problems for you, chances are your peace has definitely been impacted.

No matter how self assured a person may be, I don’t think it is healthy to be able to compare yourself to literally everyone through a screen. And not just everyone, but everyone at their best. Social media is a smoke screen where we all show the best sides of ourselves. We show our achievements, our holidays and our bikini bodies. But most of us neglect to show our bad days, our greasy hair and our struggles.

It is because of this that scrolling through social media can disturb our peace. It is easy to fall into the trap of comparing lives with people and feeling inadequate.

Another way social media can disrupt your peace is by being too close to all of the news of the world. Don’t get me wrong, I believe it is important to be well informed on current affairs. But being bombarded with constant (mostly negative) stories can have a real impact on your mood and outlook on life.

Try to reduce your social media when you can. Perhaps go screen free after 7pm every night. Or have a social media free weekend every few weeks. However you do it, just try to get your head out of a screen and appreciate the real world around you in all of it’s glory.

Cut out Toxic People

As harsh as it sounds, cutting people out of your life is sometimes necessary for your own peace.

If you have people in your life who always bring you down or always leave you feeling stressed or deflated it may be time to politely distancing yourself from them. It doesn’t have to be dramatic, you don’t have to ghost and block them with immediate effect. Simply meeting up less and replying less frequently can help you remove yourself from the situation.

If this does not work you may need to have a respectful conversation where you voice your concerns. Either they will take it well and you can stay in touch if they become less toxic or they will not take it so well and could walk out of your life for good. As final as that sounds, it is the outcome you were looking for.

I know it sounds very harsh, and I don’t want you to think you have to hurt someone’s feelings, but sometimes you must see the value of your own peace and stand up for it against people who try to take it from you.

Forgive

This is the most difficult item on the list, but arguably the most important if you truly want to protect your peace.

Learning to forgive is one of life’s biggest challenges, especially in situations where you never got an apology, any justice or closure.

Every situation will be different and I am not going to sit here and say that everyone deserves your forgiveness immediately or that you should keep them in your life.

I am talking about forgiving them for you.

Holding a grudge against someone does not benefit you or the situation. You are willingly keeping these strong negative feelings trapped inside of you so that you can’t move on and you will always feel weighed down by something.

Forgive them for your own peace of mind, so that you can move on and not keep these negative emotions built up.

I feel at this point I should make a little disclaimer. I am saying all of these points like they are an easy fix that will cure all of your problems. But we are all human and I know it is never that simple. I have obviously tried to do everything I speak about in this list, most with success, but I must confess, it is a work in progress and I do not expect anyone to be able to do all of these things overnight.

Personally, I have one person who I am not sure I have forgiven yet. To be honest with you, I am not sure whether I ever will. So instead of forgiving I did the next best thing. I removed myself from the situation and I cut them out of my life. Thankfully, I am so much happier now and although I have not yet forgiven them, I feel like most of the weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

I am only confessing this to you so that you know it is ok to not be fully ready for all of this yet. I want you to take this at your own pace and understand that protecting your peace can be a life long journey. These steps are merely what I have found work for me and my peace and hopefully will help you with yours.

Talk to yourself like you would talk to your BFF

When I first heard this piece of advice, I fell in love with it.

The way you speak to yourself matters.

Many of us put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect, to work harder and to look a certain way. In this process, we can end up speaking to ourselves very poorly. We point out everything that is “wrong” and before you know it you have a really low view of yourself and little to no self esteem left.

You would not speak to your best friend like that would you?

At the end of the day, you are with yourself for life. Some may say that you are your own best friend. So you need to treat yourself with the respect and kindness that you would treat your real best friend.

By using your inner voice to say kind and positive things instead of negative things, you will soon be able to boost your own self esteem and create a much nicer environment in your own mind for you to live and thrive in.

Put yourself first

This one is simple. Put yourself first. Prioritise yourself and your needs.

In day to day life, we give so much of ourselves to others that sometimes it is easy to forget that we matter too.

When you can, take time out for yourself. Do something that you love, or something that will help you. This will once again help you establish that peace bubble in your life that we are all striving for.

This also means that you should learn to say no. Set boundaries that will protect your peace from anything that will not serve you. Whether that is saying no to social plans or to working overtime much more than you should. Make sure you prioritise your needs and do not just live to serve others.

Practise becoming your authentic self

As cliché as it may sound, life is a journey of self discovery. That means even if you think you know yourself, there will always be something new to learn.

Some may find this daunting- I know I did at first- but after a few years of reflecting I genuinely believe discovering your authentic self is one of the best and most rewarding parts of life.

It is astounding how much of our lives we live for others. We dress a certain way to impress others. We do and don’t do things based on what society says. But have you ever stopped and just done something purely because you want to?

This is all part of becoming your most authentic self. Not caring what anyone else thinks of you and just living for your own happiness.

Wear odd socks if that will make you happy. Skip on your way to work, dance around your kitchen. All these little things may sound like nothing, but following what you want to do is a big step in overcoming what people think, no matter how small the start.

I honestly believe that becoming your authentic self can make you the happiest you have ever been. Start small and see where it leads!

Take time to recharge

It is important that you give yourself time to recharge, away from all of the demands of modern life.

Because let’s face it, life is not a picnic!

To be able to protect your peace and be truly happy in yourself and your life, you need to take time for yourself once in a while.

Recharge your social battery with silence and a good book. Take a couple days off work so that you don’t burn yourself out. Make sure you take the time you need to keep yourself healthy and happy.

Surround yourself with your people

In a similar way to cutting toxic people out of your life, you need to bring good people in.

Find your tribe of people so that you can surround yourself with good energy, support and respect. Having a strong support network is critical when facing life’s challenges and makes the joys of life even more sweet.

On the days where you may not be able to protect your own peace, it is comforting to know that there is somewhere there for you who wants to protect it too.

Check in with yourself when your mood changes

Have you ever been going about your day when seemingly out of nowhere you are upset or angry? Where there is suddenly a pit in your stomach where you know something is wrong but you don’t know what or why?

Many of us don’t have the time to stop and think about it, let alone try to address the problem.

I want you to try to make time for this. When your emotions change, instead of pushing through with sheer determination, stop and check in with yourself. Ask yourself, what am I really feeling? What made me feel like this?

By becoming more aware of your emotions and what triggers them, you can become more in tune with yourself. By doing this, you will be ready to help yourself and protect your peace of mind when it is challenged.

Surprisingly, since practising this, I have found that I have much fewer negative emotions overall. I think this could be because I check in with myself when I change my emotion and do not let the negative feelings simmer throughout the day until I feel like everything is wrong and my day has been terrible.

Let go of anything you can’t control

Finally, I strongly encourage you to let go of anything that you simply can’t control.

There are so many things in life that we wish were different. Perhaps past events that you wish you handled differently and end up playing out in your head late at night. But all that is going to do is make you lose sleep and stress you out more.

No matter what you do or how much you think about something, there are some things you will never be able to change.

So there is simply no point in disturbing your peace of mind by fixating on them.

Overcoming these things and truly letting go can take time, but as long as you can tell yourself that it is ok, and that it is out of your control, you will be able to regain your peace of mind.

I hope these things have given you some food for thought and perhaps inspired you to prioritise your peace of mind.

Once again I want to emphasise that this is not a cure all to do list. This is hopefully the start of your journey towards a happier life and mindset.